To Me…

In the cavernous Osaka capsule hotel room, I stumbled upon a startling revelation, akin to a fleeting glimpse of the river Styx. It wasn’t a neatly arranged thought but rather a flash of insight, a word that could unlock boundless expanses for free-spirited exploration. Anyway, since the word was a common one existing beside us always, it seemed to stimulate me more intensely. It is near a religious thought rather than a painting one. Thus, the fleeting thought might be rather religious than picturesque. As for me, it is never a negative harmony, so it is perceived to co-exists permanently with the art. Before a painting emerged, we would make numerous thoughts from the moment when we approach it. Otherwise, we would make them, being conscious of our feeling or the audience. In this process, the thoughts would not emancipate us freely or allow for us to run but bind us. I could not be aware of such consciousness. “Language”. Just the language has blocked me, which I know belatedly. Thus, I cannot but be unbelievable or dumbfounded. I cannot but regret myself. If I should know a little earlier, I would stroke my brushes more freely for a wide theme like Lake Baikal. Now when I am awakened of it, I cannot but regret that I have wandered nowhere, spending my time meaninglessly. What’s the use of regretting the time spent meaninglessly? What’s the use of looking back on my past spent insignificantly? Our human beings would feel painful and sad sometimes, and would feel happy for a short period of time. But as we are not a matter of no defect, our feelings would not be eternal but return to a physical phenomenon. Nevertheless, we live a life full of desire, jealousy and egoism as if we were living eternally. Although we raise the question ‘Why?’, while following the passage of our life, we cannot be free from the essential problem planted deep in our brain. It is just the language. Due to the language, we feel good or bad, or hate others or engage ourselves in greed. Anyway, the language helps us to think endlessly, or judge good or bad. The animals using no language judge the situation only with their instinctive feeling. Therefore, we cannot but judge ‘This is good, but that is not good.’ If a cattle being drawn to the slaughterhouse can think “Now, they are killing me”, it would instantly run away or attack the man. The Japanese feel painful in Japanese language, and the US people feel sorrowful by laying out the sad words in English. Of course, the Koreans hates or slander others in the Korean language. All the fortunes and misfortunes of our mankind exist in our brain, and so, we feel guilty or a dramatic ecstasy. Anyway, such fortunes or misfortunes would continue permanently in the future. Until here, any person who has been educated to some degree would well understand the physical phenomena or agonize over his/her misfortune, sitting up through the night. What is important is as follows;

However, I will not excuse myself in my 2015 artist’s note. Namely, I will not disclose the divine secrets. If I should explain about my experience of spotting a UFO, how do you think of me? Hence, I will keep the secret permanently for myself, although I would like to project it in my painting works. What is really regretful is my inability to be awakened of such truth when I spent those difficult time in foreign countries. As I felt so happy and depressed at the deep night in Osaka, I express my mental state with a few words. It is too late, but the art is an endless journey. Nevertheless, since I met Him who had never shown even his face between the crevices of the physical phenomena I came to be aware of. So, I wish that He would be projected like a rainbow in my works. I mean that I will be no more free from forms, colors, planes, lines and the numerous phenomena rendered on the canvas. I will put the physical beauty onto my canvas.

Jan. 01, 2015

Choi Woolga